The Preachers kid

I have lived my life in the spot light. My dad being a minister I was alway expected to be at church whenever the doors were open. I was always being watched, judged, and always had the infamous statement oh your a ministers daughter. That is such the understatement of a lifetime. When I was younger it didnt bother me cause I didnt understand. (besides the fact that I was sheltered) As I got older this statement seemed to bother me alot. How do they know who I am. It is like they assume cause my dad is a minister that I am a bad person. In high school, I never went to parties, never really went out. But it wasnt until I started to date this guy that I honestly realized there was more out in the world than met the eye. I saw things that I never imagined and this scared me as well as the fact that I was tempted. I started to think of ways not to be tempted and how I could just move on and still stay close to God. I remember distinctly my brother shortly before he died telling me Jennifer he isnt good for you. He is making you think of things you will one day regret. I was well on my was to a break up just as soon as I got back from my trip to visit Coushatta, LA.(small as raymond people) As soon as I got to Shreveport I got lost. I had never driven that far without my parents and all I knew was my cell phone was on roam and I couldnt call salena b/c I didnt know where I was. I did the next best thing and called my daddy. Of course the one time I call he and my mom were not there. Michael answered the phone and for some reason he thought he knew how to get there. And surprise, surprise he did. (considering he was like 7 when we moved.) I remember getting mad at him, and 3 hours later he would no longer be with us. I got to Coushatta, LA and I just drove around because I loved it there and wanted to live there forever. I dove around for hours looking at my hold home, my old church, the library, and much much more. I missed it and seriously thought of coming back home as I called it. When I got the call my brother had died the only thing going through my head was omg i yelled at him, my best friend I yelled at him. And what we had talked about the night before. My only thought call casey and call the guy. blah blah blah... skipping some The thought never left me you dont need him you are better than that. But because he was there in my time of need, something I didnt think could happen it did, I stayed with him and fell into what people call "The Preachers Kid". Now before this time I could honestly say I'm only bad cause I play with the deacons kids (ahem JASON and BRETT), but after that time I had the title and still can't live it down. Now not only did I earn a title but I was changed, bitterness. What I thought was good for me was worldly and not as good for me as I thought but I wanted to live it my way. Like I said always in the spotlight. A lot like Jesus I was tempted but instead of doing as he did I fell into a trap. Deep in. my bitterness towards Michaels' death was my cause of acting out and falling away from the Lord. Now that I look back on it, If I had done as Jesus did while he was in the desert I would never have fallen into my "PK" status. I might have actually avoided the obvious. As much as I regret doing things, I feel as though I've learned from it. I am glad I am a "pk" because being a "pk" is awesome. I learned so much that has helped me. It helps to learn from my mistakes and I am now more prepared for what God has instore for me. I know now I can avoid the temptations no matter how hard they can be.

me and buggy